I WONDER

I wonder if I inhale the fume,

Would it be hard for me to resume?

I wonder if I jump into the hole,

Would it be easy for me to lose control? 

I wonder if the rain would fall again,

To wash away the dirt of yesterday.

I wonder if the rainbow would show herself again,

To bring peace, joy and happiness to tomorrow.

I wonder if I jump into the river,

Digging the emptiness of my heart,

Would I found what I've been looking for?

I wonder if I walk to the other side of the hill,

Would I be happy as I never be?

Well, they say the grass is greener. 

Panahan cinta!

Sang cupid sentiasa ada dalam kisah cinta romantis menunggu masa tiba untuk si dia bekerja. Menarik busur panah cinta dihalakan tepat pada hati kita. Lantas dengan izin-Nya sang kumbang jatuh cinta. Berhati-hati mengatur langkah takut tersilap langkah lalu terjerumus jatuh ke dalam lumpur. Bila sang bunga mula membalas maka lahirlah hati yang mulanya berdua menjadi satu. Segalanya mula menjadi indah. Bagaikan dunia dia yang punya.

Namun hati-hati, hidup ini tak semestinya sentiasa di atas. Hidup ini macam roda. Kadang-kadang di atas. Kadang-kadang di bawah. Ada pasang surutnya. Sang kumbang mulai bosan, sang bunga pula mula goyah pangkalnya. Harus diingatkan bahawa kalau tangan bertepuk sebelah saja ia takkan berbunyi sampai bila-bila pun.

Hanya doa dan harapan yang sentiasa ada. Wahai manusia, jangan pernah kau kenal erti putus asa. Teruskan hingga ke nafas yang terakhir. Dan sekiranya, kau masih juga jatuh bangkitlah semula. Pilihlah jalan yang mampu buat dirimu bahagia. :)



p/s: lumrah manusia dalam bercinta takkan pernah putus asa. Timing is everything.

Amazing places and stuffs all around us. Sounds simple eh? Why don't you just see it for yourself. :)

 Bumi yang kita duduk ni indah. Ciptaan Yang Maha Esa. Tak salah kalau kita view sekejap kan?

Dalam dunia ni banyak je tempat-tempat yang indah, menarik yang kita tak tahu atau buat-buat tak tahu. We prefer Apples, Blackberries, Iphones to accompany us rather than spending time under the tree while sniffing the fresh air. Okay, sniffing aren't the best word but you get what i meant. :)

If there's a chance, a big big huge chance for me to go to these places and see for myself, I won't say NO. I just go because you know what, these places are awesome enough to keep me mesmerized. Shall we? And sambil itu kita bersyukur lah ye dengan apa yang kita ada sekarang walaupun clearly stated dalam Al-Quran it won't be ours for infinity. But, it's ain't a sin if we just sit back, relax and mengkagumi ciptaan Illahi :)

First is Plitvice Lakes National Park located at the Southest Europe and it is the largest national park in Croatia. Sape-sape tak tahu kat mana Croatia, you are welcome to click here.  Plitvice Lakes National Park ni ada limestone caves and makes 16 lakes and which make it more precious is that bila kena matahari air yang ada dalam lakes tersebut shimmering je and trust me you won't get your eyes of them :). Here, i'll provide you with few pictures that are obviously aren't mine as i took them from somewhere in one of the land of sources. 

Nice kan? aku pun terpana sebentar. Baru gambar beb! Belum tengok dengan mata kepala sentuh dengan jari jemari sendiri, lagilah terpana terkaku aku! 

Subhanallah. Indahnya ciptaan Allah. 

Next is Taj Mahal. Sape tak tau Taj Mahal kena baca balik sejarah cinta la jawabnya. Taj Mahal ni dah diisytiharkan oleh UNESCO sebagai salah satu Tapak Warisan Sedunia yang clearly kita kena lindungi :) Taj Mahal was being constructed in the year of 1632 and fully furnished somewhere in 1648. Seramai 200,000 labours were in this building team the moment it was being constructed involving seorang ustaz yang bernama Ustaz Ahmad yang personally being nominated by Shah Jahan himself. Dengan design yang sirayes menarik yang diperbuat daripada high class mosaic dan jugak ada 43 jenis batu permata yang dihias indah dalam Taj Mahal ni. :) Kita semua tahu kenapa Taj Mahal dibina kan? So, aku rasa tak perlulah aku explain. Ke nak aku explain jugak? yela..yela..aku baik sikit hari ni. Taj Mahal dibina oleh Shah Jehan (tuan empunya Taj Mahal ni) sebagai memperingati isteri nya yang kelima setelah meninggal dunia sewaktu melahirkan anak mereka. Wah! Cinta kan? Kalau omputih cakap, How Sweet.. Kalau aku pun. *berangan sebentar* hehe.. 

Ni lah Taj Mahal yang berkonsepkan senibina Islam serta menggabungkan design dari Turki, India dan Parsi. 

Cantik kan? :) 

Walaupun Taj Mahal ni  buatan manusia, kita kena ingat jugak tanpa izin Allah, benda ni takkan siap and jadi tumpuan orang ramai macam ni. 

Third is the Northern Lights or dalam Bahasa Malaysia nya aku sebut sebagai Cahaya Utara. 

One of the greatest authors in this world dah tulis satu buku pasal Northern Lights ni. Aku sendiri tak pernah baca lagi tapi aku tahu buku dia informative gila. ( agak-agak je ). Macam mana terjadi nya Northern Lights ni, aku sendiri baca dari Wikipedia and aku copy paste untuk korang baca bagi mereka-mereka yang malas nak open new tab and type in Wikipedia. 

Auroras result from emissions of photons in the Earth's upper atmosphere, above 80 km (50 miles), from ionized nitrogen atoms regaining an electron, and oxygen and nitrogen atoms returning from an excited state to ground state. They are ionized or excited by the collision of solar wind particles being funneled down and accelerated along the Earth's magnetic field lines; excitation energy is lost by the emission of a photon of light, or by collision with another atom or molecule:

oxygen emissions

Green or brownish-red, depending on the amount of energy absorbed.

nitrogen emissions

Blue or red. Blue if the atom regains an electron after it has been ionized. Red if returning to ground state from an excited state.

Oxygen is unusual in terms of its return to ground state: it can take three quarters of a second to emit green light and up to two minutes to emit red. Collisions with other atoms or molecules will absorb the excitation energy and prevent emission. Because the very top of the atmosphere has a higher percentage of oxygen and is sparsely distributed such collisions are rare enough to allow time for oxygen to emit red. Collisions become more frequent progressing down into the atmosphere, so that red emissions do not have time to happen, and eventually even green light emissions are prevented.

This is why there is a colour differential with altitude; at high altitude oxygen red dominates, then oxygen green and nitrogen blue/red, then finally nitrogen blue/red when collisions prevent oxygen from emitting anything. Green is the most common of all auroras. Behind it is pink, a mixture of light green and red, followed by pure red, yellow (a mixture of red and green), and lastly pure blue.

Alangkah eloknya kalau semua benda ni ada kat Malaysia.. kan senang je aku nak pergi. Hurmph! nak pergi tengok benda-benda macam ni semua nya nak pakai duit. I-city pun jauh kat Selangor tu. haish! 

Aku tahu semua ni macam tak informative je buat korang kan? I just wanna share what i should share and apa-apa yang kurang, korang tambahkan la ye? :) Thanks! Kalau korang rajin, Google lah semua ye? lagi senang nak tahu macam-macam. Just aku rasa aku patut bersyukur bumi kita ni ada benda-benda indah macam ni. Part II will come soon. Ni baru Part I. :) 

p/s: *kindly be reminded that all the pictures in this post aren't mine as i grab them all from Google* 

Lastly, peace! :D

Cupcake FTW!! *thumbs up*

So, i was once into a business industry. Let's just say it was a small business industry.. When i was in my second year diploma we have to take this one subject named Fundamentals of Entrepreneurship a.k.a ETR 300. We divided ourselves into a group of five people with different role for each of us. I was elected by my team member to be a Marketing Manager. Most probably because of my capability of finding creative ways on how to deal with business and people around me. Well, i'm just guessing anyway and it won't hurt if i make myself smile reading that sentence back right? RIGHT PEOPLE? 


So, as a MM what i need to do is finding ways on how to promote our products and how to advertise. But, bear in mind it's ain't that simple and my tasks are not limited to only those. My team and I have decided to build up a Sushi Bar in our campus (that was the original idea of mine). Everything turn out well but somehow we stopped right after presentation. Though we stopped right there, I managed to learn how to make sushi. Trust me despite the fact that sushi looks simple but making it was much more harder. It needs a pair of gentle hands together with passionate spirit and patience of course. 


So, a semester after that my bestfriend, Kiki was telling me on how we can actually look for side income. (as we are students of course) and we finally come up with the idea of making sushi as our side income. HELL YEAH! of course we did it! 




And now, the crazy amazing idea continues but we change it from sushi to cupcakes! Not that sushi are not marketable but we find it harder as we seldom meet up with each other so we decided to change! :) hope that after this it will go fine and dapat untung banyak! yeayyy...InsyaALLAH..






p/s: kalau hati ikhlas dan buat kerana Allah, semua insyaALLAH menjadi.. :) *fingers crossed* 

Bibir kering tanda badan dehydrated.

Aku ni dari kecik lagi dah terkenal dengan perangai yang selalu nak cari penyakit bila dah sihat walafiat cenggini. Ingat lagi dulu masa tadika aku demam teruk before nak duduk exams. hah! jangan ingat tadika takde exams tau dulu..hehe..tapi, yela sakit sakit jugak tapi aku ni pelik..exams je sakit aku datang...mcm WTF kan? flu lah, demam lah..macam-macam lagi la yang datang..kesian aku..sampai ayah aku cakap aku ni macam ada fobia nak exam..ada ke fobia tu wujud?

Lepas tu ada satu lagi insiden bila aku nak PTS yang dulu nya masa kita Year 3 kena duduk paper ni sebab nak qualify kan kita either boleh masuk darjah 4 ke darjah 5..masa tu aku kena demam teruk jugak..kali ni lagi teruk sampai aku tak lalu makan..duduk paper tu pun sebab terpaksa pergi..kang tamau pergi kang kena babab lak..hehe..yang ajaibnya lepas duduk exam tu demam aku terus hilang. pelik kan?

Sekarang, benda tu dah berlalu lama dah..dah nak masuk 21 dah aku ni.. ( perasan tua tetiba ) semakin bertambah umur aku, bertambah la jugak penyakit aku.. sekarang ni aku dah ada gastric, dah ada migraine.. haish! muda-muda dah ada.. geram betul aku..Bibir aku lak dah kering ni..tanda tanda tak cukup air dalam badan la ni. lepas tu sakit kepala aku kerap je mengunjungi aku di masa cuti ni. haish. potong stim betul lah! ada je..Ubat aku yg umur 21 ni dah full satu container. geram! hari-hari kena makan vitamin lak tu..haish..

Persoalannya, sampai bila aku nak bergantung dengan ubat ni? jaga macam mana pun badan ni tetap gak sakit..minum air satu gelen pun..haish..sabar je la aku..kena gak tahan penyakit ni..satu je harapan aku..hopefully lepas ni takdela penyakit pelik-pelik yang aku dapat.. tetap jugak jaga kesihatan ni..aku muda lagi kot?

Lepas ni shana, minum je air manyak2..segelen, satu tong pun takpe ye? makan vitamin hari hari pun takpe ye? bagi lebih sikit vitamin dalam badan tu.. makan kena ikut time tau? jangan skip makan lak..kang gastric! haishh.. lepas tu jamu jangan lupa makan, kang kena bebel mummy baru terhegeh-hegeh nak makan. haish!

Kan dah kena bebel, padan muka! Hehehehe.. 

Macam terlambat je nak wish Happy Teacher's Day ni..

aku tak wish apa-apa pun dekat cikgu-cikgu sekolah. berdosa ke aku? hurmphh.. *rasa bersalah yang amat*

nanti kita tulis tiga muka surat karangan kita bagi kat cikgu-cikgu ye? =) 

Gua respek sama lu bro!

Wahhh!! Cayalah bro dengan segala tipuan daya helah mu selama ini bro! Kenapalah gua percaya sangat-sangat ye pada lu bro? Lu kata lu heartless tapi bila gua baca velog lu yang bagai sayang orang serupa tiada pengganti. Lu kata lu bukan jenis yang thoughtful. Bwahaha! Geli wa dengar doh! Gua baca blog lu fuyohhh!! Birthday girlfriend lu yang current ni lu tak hirau ye bro? Tapi ex yang dah bertahun ditinggalkan lu siap beli hadiah laggiii..FUYOHHHH!! serious wa respek sama lu bro!

Itu baru sikit bro. More to come. Tapi kan bro, life is a karma. And not to forget karma is a BIATCH! So, bro gua rasa lu patut respek lu punya girlfriend la bro.. Tak baik wo.. Kang nanti lu kena sendiri kan ke dah naya bro? Tepuk dada tanya tahi lalat ye bro? Kesian kawan gua tak pasal-pasal makan hati berulamkan jantung hempedu dek perangai lu bro.

Tapi kawan gua ni,wa pun respek sama dia..because you know why? She insists to stay with her boyfriend despite the fact that the boyfriend treated her badly. No matter what happened, kawan wa ni masih jugak tamau nak give up..Sampai wa pun fening-fening gajah dibuatnya. Sampai gajah pun tak tau nak buat apa dah. Yelaaaa..hidup orang la kan? Wa tak mampu nak buat apa-apa kecuali membebel dalam velog yang comel ini. Kang wa cakap kang tak pasal-pasal emo satu negeri ni huru hara..Siapa yang susah? Waaaaa jugak kan bro???


Wa tak mampu nak post lebih-lebih bro kang nanti tak pasal-pasal wa kena saman pak guard UiTM lak bro.. Satu je la ye bro, baik lu jaga elok-elok member sekatil rempit wa ni bro. Hargai la dia bro.. Jangan bila dia dah terbang jauh umpama burung merpati putih terbang di udara nanti baru lu nak buat surat mengalahkan karangan lima muka surat untuk dia ye bro?

#maaf kalau ada yang terasa. Ini hanyalah sebagai luahan hati yang terpendam selama ini. Kesian member wa. Kita sama-sama doa yang member wa punya boyfriend tu sedar la ye yang kita ni harus menghargai apa yang ada dengan kita sekarang ni. Jangan nanti menyesal bila bulan yang banyak kawah tapi bersinar bercahaya tu terlepas ketika sibuk mengejar bintang-bintang yang semuanya hampir sama.


P/s:
Jangan ada yang perasan lebih lak. Haish..Babab baru tahu. Peace out!

Seganas-ganas wa, wa masih sayang sama bopren! Teeheee.. ( lep, lep, lep)

I need therapy

I need therapy. And why do i need it? Because to get my mind off things! Things that make me feel uneasy. Things that me feel sick! *geram mode switch on*

I need beaches, need lots of sunblock, need days laying on the beaches with my love ones. 

I need my beach attire. I need to look at the sunset. I need to eat fresh seafood. Things that i love all this time.

I need you. that's all i need actually. Others are just to accompany us. 

Boy, I miss Sabah so much. Nothing to worry about. No homeworks, assignments to think of.

Gah, i've been posting up stupid stuffs on Facebook, Twitter and this blog lately. But, why do i feel like I changed radically. *sighs* i think i'm turning into someone that i barely know. haish. THIS IS BAD..THIS IS BAD..THIS IS VERY VERY BAD... ( buat macam Flynn Rider buat ) hehehe...

okay, enough with the rantings. takde orang nak baca..eh, wait..that's the purpose of this blog anyway. lol. XD 

Train- Marry Me

A sweet song indeed. I want this song to be in playlist on my big day. =)

Source: www.youtube.com

Anyway, i posted this up here because basically i'm in dilemma either i can share stuffs with him anymore like old times. well, just sharing kan? So, i guess post it up here might not hurt. At least viewers can see =)

Peace guys.


To: you-know-who
Boyfriend, I miss you so much.
Today, might be the last. So, i want you to know that I love you so much.

shrouded history

Over all those sacred undertakings

The devastated stories full with depression 

Hidden solemnly without hesitation 

Where all the stupid lies and amazing wounds stayed 

Slowly deteriorates our morality 

It is the point where

Where the spirit started to grow again

Dancing solely in the air without vacillation 

My Internship Resolution

yes, soon i'll be having my internship. though this is my first time, i confidently feel like i'll be fine and i know i can do it. despite the fact that deep inside my heart : "shit! this is what i'm gonna do and urgh i know i'll be nervous like crazy". so, to prevent the words from coming out of my mouth sounded slurred when answering questions given by them, i should really start studying back everything just to reinforce what I've learned before. Hence, i've come up with my internship resolution just to make things clear and to remind myself what i need to do.



I need all my books, notes which is obviously EVERYWHERE in this room.

I need to do notes again especially for Elemental Cost Analysis ( ECA ) on how to calculate stuffs and areas in the building.

I need to remember the procedures or sequences to build foundation and such.

I also need to read back my 'kitab'. yes, that's how we labeled it. The QS Kitab :) SMM2..



So, what else i need to do? so, all this will be done starting tonight! Good luck Shana. 

The Rules Of Gentlemen

We keep on questioning ourselves, why is that so hard for us to search or meet with the guy that fulfill the rules of gentlemen. The rules of gentlemen shows us how the guys work with their relationship or anything that is related in their daily life. However, we just need to accept the fact that they are not the same. They aren't all loving, they aren't all gonna show what they feel. Thus, let me show you the real them. You might like it and you also MIGHT NOT like it. ENJOY! 

1. A gentleman never hits a girl, ever.
2. Your girlfriend is not the prettiest of them all. Because in your eyes she should be the only one that is pretty.
3. Calling her ‘baby’ will make her melt everytime. Promise.
4. If you’re trying to have a relationship let her know. If you don’t and just trying to hit on her, let her know too.
5. Never break a promise.
6. Do not be rude.
7. A gentleman always respects every woman in his life. If you can’t respect your mother, forget about respecting your girlfriend.
8. If you fall in love with her, tell her. Just be prepared to catch her.
9. Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
10. Never compare her with your ex-girlfriends. She is incomparable.
11. When she pushes you away, pull her closer.
12. Love her for who she is, not for who you want her to be.
13. Don’t text or call her just because you are bored.
14. Never give her a reason to doubt your feelings for her.
15. Never tell a girl she doesn’t understand. The chances are, she does.
16. Her ‘nothing’ is always something.
17. Never let her forget how much she means to you.
18. She comes first. Always.
19. Hold the door for every girl, attractive or not.
20. No more bros before hos. Well respected women before bros.
21. Don’t say whatever when you are arguing. It will make her more mad.
22. Do it because you want to. Not because you want something in return.
23. Never accuse.
24. Show her off in front of yours or her friends.
25. It’s the little compliments that means a lot to her.
26. When you’re around her always make her feel that she’s your first and your last.
27. Never forget an anniversary.
28. If you love her, tell her before its too late.
29. Always be available for her.
30. If you don’t have time for her, make time for her.
31. Smile and laugh at her jokes, even if it is not funny.
32. When going out, don’t ask her what she wants to do. Take charge and decide.
33. If you love her never let her slip away.
34. Never lead her on if you know nothing is going to happen.
35. Love her unconditionally.
36. Always protect her from any harm.
37. Don’t try to keep anything from her.
38. Never make excuses.
39. Never go to parties or hang out with other girls without her.
40. Never be a jerk to her in front of hers or your friends.
41. Never talk bad behind her.
42. Take the initiative to go and talk to her.
43. Let her rest her head on your shoulder.
44. Always listen to what she has to say.
45. Believe her and believe in her.
46. Don’t tell her lies just to spare her feelings. She’d rather know the truth now than find it out later.
47. Tell her your stories and feelings. She wants to hear them. Promise.
48. Treat her like your best friend.
49. Never let her down or blow her off.
50. Shift to the dangerous side when crossing the road.
51. Treat her like a princess.
52. When she refuses to talk to you because you did something to upset her, insist and make up for it.
53. If you know she loves you, don’t play with her emotions and take advantage of it.
54. Listen to what she has to say.
55. When both of you are in a fight, take the blame for everything. Even she is wrong.
56. Never take a girl out because of a dare.
57. Reply her texts.
58. When she’s sick don’t neglect her.
59. Don’t make a promise if you’re going to break it.
60. Never insult her, even if you’re joking around.
61. Hug her from the back.
62. If they complain something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.
63. Never slap her, even if it’s a joking way.
64. She should have three things from you. Your sweatshirt, a stuffed animal and a pretty ring.
65. If she slaps you, you probably deserved it.
66. She’s more important than videogames.
67. Do whatever it takes to make her happy.
68. Hang out with her friends too. Not just yours.
69. Never take her for granted.
70. Respect her.
71. Don’t use her.
72. Compliment her.
73. Boobs or butts don’t matter.
74. Apologize when you’re wrong.
75. Kiss her in the rain.
76. Tell her you love her before she sleeps every night.
77. Accept her for who she is.
78. When she is fighting with someone, defend her even when you don’t think she’s right.
79. Kiss her when she’s sleeping.
80. Never lie to her, she’ll find out.
81. Never force her to do anything.
82. If you get in a fight with her, stop and just hug her.
83. Never talk about other girls in front of her.
84. Hold her when she cries. Nothing feels better.

 Yeap! This is all what I get from here!

-Penyakit 'M' aku da datang-

*nods* yeap...penyakit malas da datang..ni yang aku xsuka..buat aku malas nak update blog..but i'll xupate tapi payah la kering idea macam ni.. aduyaii..dahla gastric plak..okay2..nak out..bye! take care! saja nak membebel dulu kat sini. :P 

I'll do whatever it takes

I started to think things that happened around me entirely after i listen to a song. It's the song from Lifehouse anyway. The lyrics does have meanings for me, somehow. Find the song yourself. ( yes, i know i'm evil ).


*staring at the picture of us for hours*

These few days, I started to feel the emptiness. I started to realize that the thread aren't that tight anymore. I started to realize that sunshine aren't that shiny anymore. I started to feel thoroughly miserable. Yes I do know that I'm clumsy.

Was it my fault entirely? The laughs started to fade away. If tomorrow never comes, will he realize how much I love him? Too much love might kill they say. But isn't this what God wants? Spread the love all around you?

Was it fully my fault? That the frown on the forehead can now be seen. Baby, tell me how can we get this work. I know i turned you down. I know I hurt you this way. I'll do whatever it takes to turn this back to normal. I'll do what I have to do to get back the laughs that was once ours.

Please, take back my hand. Don't give up on me. Sooner or later, things will be fine. Please, never leave me alone. I'm too weak for this world alone. Please, give me one more chance to do what I have to do to give back One sweet day that was always ours everyday.

Please, do take back my hand. Please, I love you yes I do. 

untitled part one

I wake up in the sleepless night

Staring at your shirt and hug it tight

Though my words are untied

I think I've lost the thread 

My feelings 

are beyond all of the words that I said

And I'm living in the photographs

Though it will get erased one day, 

baby, you know memories will never die

And I'm here holding back

Waiting for you to come again 

I couldn't call you if I tried

Fingers aren't moving 

When I see the strangled smile fell from your face

It kills me I hurt you this way

The worst part is I didn't even know

Now, 

there's more than million reasons for you to leave.

But, 

if you could find a way to stay

I'll do whatever it takes

To take back what once ours

To fight for our love

Sorry isn't enough for you

I know.

But, 

I'll never stop believe in.

Never had I imagined

Living without you next to me

Without your jokes everyday

It kills me, Love.

I know,

I hurt you so much.

Darling, trust me

it wasn't my intention.

To solely break your heart and soul.

Please, 

don't ever leave me alone

as the darkness kills me

never let me cling without a thread

you know how much you mean to me.

Please,

you know how much I love you.

you know how much I care for you.

you know how important you are in my life.

Please,

I do..Love you..

Sorry..for what I've done

p/s : not good at words apparently.

mengidam Double Cheeseburger.

the burger.

the fries.

all yummy yummy yummy and I'm having gastric. Congratulations. 

i miss you DAD. :')

Dad, why do you have to go? Though not far apart, still the emptiness fill the spaces. Didn't you know that I can't live without you? You do know that I'm your first love right? But why did you leave me alone? I'm not that strong to get through all this. The sleepless night. The empty house. The endless cry. They are my best friends now. When I wake up in the morning hoping that you'll be there at my door smiling and as usual kiss me on my forehead. 


Dad, things are getting more complicated. And I'm still young, can't face them all alone. Ayah, I miss you. I really do. :( Ayah, I'm not gonna move. I'll do what i have to do to protect this house. I'll be there when you need  me. I love you and I always do. 


P/s : kerinduan seorang anak kepada kedua orang tuanya adalah rindu yang diharapkan mendapatkan keredhaan ALLAH. 

If Tomorrow Never Comes Part II

This is special for Mr. Straight Face : Mr.Sukri Ali. 

In case if tomorrow never comes in our chapter, these are the list of things that I want to do with you before I go. And until the day has come for me to go or either I already went off I want you to know that I will always be there for you and I will never let you go through all these alone. :) 

Bopren, you have to be prepared ye? <---haha as if he reads my blog right? 

Okay, moving on with the exact motive. 

THINGS I WANT TO DO WITH YOU BEFORE I GO :) 

• Book a ticket and fly off to KL (if and only if i'm still staying in Sarawak of course)
• Have a good breakfast at Mansion (the usual teh tarik and roti canai)
• Hold his hands and never let go :)
• No matter how angry I am or how  sad i am, i'll smile for him. :) 
• Bring him to places I wanna go. :) and again, never let go of the hands
• Have a good lunch. (pizza at KLCC, his favourite eh?)
• Off to Malacca (to remember back the places where we used to hang out during the first meet up. :') GOSH I miss that moment ) 
• Walk on the beach, hand in hand and watch the sunset together. 
• Have a good dinner at the place where we had our first dinner together :) and I'll let him finish up my food. <--Because I don't eat sotong maaaa... *tears rolling while smiling*
• Then have a soft conversation near the Malacca River. (like old times) Tell him how much I love him how much I care for him, tell him how much I hate long distance relationship but for not losing him, i try to be strong and do it. Tell him, how patient i'll wait until the Manchester United's game finished just to share good news with him. Tell him how much i hate to sleep before hearing his voice saying good night to me. Force him to give a full 100% attention to me. HAHA! ( chill bopren..it's only today taht i'll ask for a full attentio from you. there will be no more after this ) Tell him how important he is in my life. Yes, all he will say is Chill sayang. But still, I want him to know all these. :') I miss you bopren. 

Dah tak mampu nak kata apa. Just, if tomorrow never comes I just want him to know how much I love him and how much I care for him :) And he's one of the best chapters in my life. <3 

P/s: this only applies when "If tomorrow never comes" But, if xde, this should wait. :) 

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Dance the night away, 

Live your life and stay young on the floor 

Dance the night way, 

Grab somebody drink a little more 

That's the lyric from On The Floor sing by J-Lo feat Pitbull. Well, I guess I can't say no to this song. :) And I can't say no to the fun things in my life. Define fun things : Fun things in life especially teenager like me or young adult like me love to do during their leisure times. Please, don't get me wrong. It could be anything. It could be reading books, playing chess ( sounds very skema kan? ) *giggles*

To me, this is what I love to do ----> 

• Hanging out with friends. Karaoke, watching movies.
• Bars, Shopping complexes to do window shopping.
• In my room reading good books with warm coffee next to me. =)

All this thing, I do with limitation. No matter how fun that thing is I need to do it with limitation. Though people keep on saying that have fun as if there's no tomorrow. And if tomorrow never comes, I want to these stuffs in one whole day while waiting for the next day. :)

• Talk to mummy, cook for her, kisses her a lot. :) she's the light of my life
• Nag a lot to my little brother, make him regret and missing me.
• Have a good lunch with ayah, talk to him, hugs him and comfort him whenever he cries. 
• Go hang out with best friends, take lots of pictures with them :) they gonna miss me. 

Yes, these are what I wanna do. :) with the people in my life that watch me growing up until now. That accompany me no matter what happens. That nag at me a lot! That love me to bits! 

And if tomorrow never comes, I wanna let them know that I love them so much, I miss them so much and how special they are in my life. :) 

Happy Sunday!

Okay. Am da balik Sibu. so, mesti bosan da lepas ni. tadi rasa mcm nak nangis je bile geng da nak balik Sibu. Yeap, I have best friends, gang and also clique! Best friends accompany you whenever and in whatever situation  that is. Gang best defined as friends that will accompany you sometimes and it's hard to meet them face to face as the distances between each other. Clique is equivalent to debaters' creed/community. Seldom meet ups but clique always! =D happy for people all around me and i'm so relieve that i have these people in my life. =)



to be continued

Raise Your Glass

Since it's weekend what you should do is have fun right? That was what i'm planning to do. Since there're few friends that just came back last Friday from Sibu so we were planning to hang out together. Most probably we will hang out at The Spring ( where else could it be? there's nothing much here in Kuching. *sad* )

So, i'll upload our pictures later. For the time being, continue with the chores Shana. It's almost done now. Yeay!!  ( yeah right! banyak la da settle )



I keep on sneezing dari tadi. So, i guess maybe i do have allergy with dust. Haish.

Okay! Kan dah kata aku malas!

Slept at around 4 something this morning and woke up again at 8 am in the morning without a cup of the best coffee in the house ( Nescafe ) makes my head feels drowsy and tired. Malam tadi bukan main lagi ye nak kemas bilik lah kemas rumah la... Hurmph! *nampak sangat menipunya* Kite bako je.

Okay2. After helping mummy just now i'll promise myself I'll do everything by today. Finish up everything today. *aja! aja! Fighting!*

To Do List 

• Change the position of my closet, book shelf and add a carpet. yes, a carpet. 
• Vacuum / sweep / and mop all around the house. Yes, all around the house. *cries*
• Karaoke dalam bilik. HAHA! hobby masa terlampau. 

Okay, enough with all the rubbish rantings. Get to work now, Shana! YEAP...NOW!!

=) things that i love in my life =)

Yeap! He's mine. =) 

Boyfie's picture on my birthday =)

Favorite drinks <3

Oh, travelling! 

Kenapa Kita Malas? (termasuk aku)

Kenapa manusia malas? Semua kita malas cuma tika dan saatnya sahaja berbeza. I've been staying at home for almost a fortnight and seriously frankly speaking there's nothing much I did at home ; except for simple chores like cooking for lunch and dinner, laundries. Basically I guess that's all. *sighs*

I've been cursed to be a lazy girl now which is it's not a good thing. It's supposed to be a good, mature and hardworking lady. Guess the Bruno Mars's song entitled "The Lazy Song" had a jinx on me. lol. Bruno Mars: JK okay dude? chill.

So, yeah. I really need to change myself. Starting early in the morning tomorrow. I shall starts my day with a good cup of coffee and a nice breakfast that usually will be prepared by mummy. And oh btw, Happy Mother's Day to all mothers outside there.

*peace*

sentap pujuk diri sendiri

aku rasa title tu dah cukup nak meluahkan segalanya. toksah la aku nak explain panjang lebar. kang hati sendiri sakit. lepas tu makan hati berulamkan jantung la aku. kthxbai!!!! 

KL and Sabah.

 A fucking awesome moment. Remember last time, aku kata aku tak pergi Borneo Debating Championship? Adalah aku cakap yang aku maybe tak pergi Sabah.. kalau tak caye klik kat sini *senyum sampai telinga* 


In the first place, the reasons why aku tamau pergi Sabah is because aku nak jumpa bopren macho ku. *giggles* But, that doesn't mean that i really don't want to go to Sabah. I do I do I do. I mean it's Sabah that we're talking about. 


So, yeah. I actually went to KL first. To meet up with one of the best chapter in my life. Well, at least i guess i'm the only one who think it that way. Still, it doesn't matter. So, i spent a couple of days in Kuala Lumpur and the next couple of days in Sabah. Hell yeah!! 


So, since i promise myself i wanna upload pictures in my own blog, so yeah. this is what i'm going to do. *winks*

I-city for a date? not bad eh?

There's once, a friend told me that the sound made by my bangle annoys him but i never heard any words related to annoying feeling from the dude in the picture. 

 

=') the day we spent together in KLIA before i departed for Sabah. We took many pictures together but somehow they look fine from his view but not for me. so, we took pictures few times and guess what he said " as long as you nampak cantik, yg"  *touched* 

And this is our favourite picture. He took this without me knowing it and yes, he took it when i was mad at him. Though I was mad, still i smile for him. =) 

Okay! Enough with the KL part. Now, moving on with the Sabah part. 

Sabah, a place for you to gain weight, for you to seek for peaceful life and awesome beaches!!! Though i didn't get a chance to go to any of them. *sighs* Nevertheless, still ada masa lain maaaa... 

Good bye KL, Hello Sabah =D 

The awesome people that I met right after I arrived in Sabah. 

Kim Seng, Jessie and Kevin :D Unimas people. 

And of course there are lots of camwhoring. :D

One of the roundabout in Sabah. 

And yes, I was hungry I can even eat both meals. But, sad to say naah. I couldn't. =) 

Head desk. Yes, i was so tired! Sleep at the kopitiam also can.... :D

 

Night life at Jesselton Point, Sabah is awesome! But, please do bring your sweater. It's cold since it is located next to the sea. 

From left : Tina Ling, Fitria Ling, me, Ting Ting and Alex! :D The gorgeous Sarawak girls. Hawouuhh!!

And this is what i wore for the debate dinner. =) and all of them are some of the girls who represented Sarawak for Borneo Debating Championship, UMS Sabah. 

and yes yes i do gained weight. stop telling me that. T_T 

So, i don't wanna tell you what exactly happen in Sabah but somehow the pictures show what happened in Sabah. They left you with assumptions. Though they are just assumptions but only I know what exactly happened. =) 

P/s: Sabah 2012, wait for me okay? will be coming again 

Terasa Diri Jiwang Seketika.

*Mainkan lagu Getaran Jiwa - Bittersweet. Pernah suatu ketika dahulu kau nyanyikan lagu rindu suara idaman kalbu. Kini, hanya suara itu menemani *

Sekarang aku lemah air mata bercucuran
Hujan di luar jendela seumpama memahami bahasa jiwaku.
Suatu ketika dahulu,
Pernah aku curiga dengan bahasa kalbu,
Pernah aku terfikir apa kesudahan cerita kita.

Ditemani sebatang pensel sehelai kertas putih,
Tanganku lemah mengukir huruf-huruf,
Yang kemudiannya bertukar menjadi patah-patah kata,
Yang berakhir menjadi ayat-ayat luahan hati,
Menanti dan terus menanti apakah akhirnya.

Kata-kata nista dan pandangan jelek,
Ini yang kau hadiahkan dari bibirmu sendiri,
Semua itu tidak emmutuskan semangatku,
Kau sendiri bilang, jangan pernah putus asa,
Akan ku tunggu,
Walaupun bertahun lamanya.

P/s:

• Tidak pernah sekalipun aku berhenti berharap.
• Tidak pernah sekalipun aku menyesal.
• Kau...tetap akan ku tunggu. 

Sesungguhnya butir bicara ini sudah lama dimuntahkan namun diri ini tidak punya kesempatan. Sila sediakan baldi sendiri sekiranya ingin muntah ye? *ignore typos and grammar errors. I'm not good at BM literature. Shame on me and yes, sucks to be me*

*Still in her vulnerable state* saja merapu.

When she is in her vulnerable state, what she needs are being listed below :

• Suitable songs to suits the atmosphere.
• Caramel Frappuccino extra Whipped Cream (Starbucks)
• Or Ice-cream preferably Vanilla flavor if there's no Starbucks. 
• A shoulder to cry on. Preferably her own best friend but she can consider someone else to replace. =)

So, these are what she needs when she's in her vulnerable state. She doesn't need the cigarettes, alcohols or anything else. *winks* 

yeah right. 

Fucking Perfect.

They say experiences are the good teachers. 

They say time will heal our wounds. 

They say our weakness will turn down our demons. 

They say I'm something but i keep on saying that i'm nothing. 

I tried so hard, keep on changing myself. 

I tried so hard making people smile but letting my heart hurts. 

I tried so hard to make people feel appreciated 

But why i never felt appreciated once?

They are so mean.

They make it sounds complicated.

This is a tired game.
We keep on chasing things but in the end; we fall

Future. Dress ups. Heels. Hairdo. Make ups.

There will be few dinners that i will attend next semester. Which means there's only few months left! and i don't prepare anything yet except for the heels. well, there will be few dresses, hairdos,makeups will be shortlisted. =)

Since now my hair is still considered as short (for me) it's below shoulder length now btw. I'm pretty sure by the time the dinner is just around the corner, my hair will be longer. =) 

So, i wanna make my hair like this. :D

she's pretty right? yeap. i need to wait for my hair to grow. T_T

and i want this dress. 

or 

this one.

or 

perhaps, this one? 

oh shit! i really need to start choosing. Can i just wear one dress for all events, no?

urgh. i hate choosing among all the things that i like. 

can i have her make up artist?  i want this i want this. 

okay okay..let's just wait and see. Until the moment arrive, we'll see. i'll post up the pictures. :D

Gaining back the strength that was once hers.

*the phone is ringing.stares at the phone.*

Pick up the phone call.

Tekap telefon bimbit dekat dengan telinga kanan.
Suara kedengaran di corong sebelah.
Suara lelaki; air mata bercucuran.

"ayah, anak ayah dah tak kuat. dah xmacam dulu"
"ayah, anak ayah yang jahil ni nak mintak maaf. "
"ayah, anak ayah ni hanya insan biasa yang punya banyak kekurangan"
"yang orang lihat dengan pandangan jelek"
"yang orang tak pernah peduli hanyalah yang buruknya sahaja"

"ayah" *genggam tangan kuat-kuat,tutup mata ketat-ketat*
"ayah,kenapa ayah kuat? lalui semua benda seorang diri? tanpa ditemani sesiapa"

yang hanya ada cuma 3 ekor kucing parsi yang megah dengan bulu lebatnya, 12 ekor hamsters yang semakin hari dimamah hari *monolog si anak*

lalu si ayah pun berkata :

"anak, kau harus kuat. kita kena tempuhi apa jua yang berlaku dalam hidup ini tak kira apa pun dugaan yang menimpa. itu tandanya ALLAH sayang pada kita. ALLAH tengok kita. ALLAH nak kita selalu berdoa pada-Nya. Dia dambakan doa kita anak."

*air mata semakin deras bercucuran*

"ayah umpama buangan di bumi kelahiran arwah datukmu, nak"
"ayah kekadang merasakan tiada gunanya hidup di dunia lagi. Namun, ALLAH pasti kecewa kiranya kita melarikan diri dari masalah. Dia mahukan kita sentiasa berdoa pada-Nya. Kerna Dialah yang menciptakan, Dialah yang berkuasa, nak"

"kau harus tabah. kau harus kuat. ingat, ALLAH sentiasa melihatmu. Jangan mengeluh."
"Assalamualaikum, anak. Selamat malam."

Si anak menjawab salam namun masih menangis. Betapa kuatnya si ayah melalui segala macam onak duri selama 46 tahun. Namun anak sudah mengeluh, padahal baru 21 tahun merasa onak ranjau.


p/s:

• sentiasa kuat melalui apa sahaja dugaan. Allah Maha Mengetahui, Dia lah yang Maha Kuasa. Jangan putus berdoa. *pesanan untuk diri sendiri juga* 
• berapa kali solat sunat bukan ukuran iman. sekuat mana iman, sekuat itulah tiang agama kita. 

The Picture

*staring at the picture; alone ; silence*

Once upon a time, there's a girl
who keeps on fight and sacrifice
for the smiles on people's face.
a girl who never learn on how to just sit down and watch.

Once upon a time, there's a girl
who doesn't have the word 'defeat' in her dictionary.
Who never gives up and keep on standing on her ground.
Never try to back down.

People changed. She get tired. She stumbled.
Finally she fell down.
Tears rolling on her white cold cheeks.
Sickness started to fill the empty spaces
Alone loser; that's what they call her now.

Does she deserves that?
Does anyone cares?
Does anyone out there willing to help her?
Does anyone actually will be there to support her?
By all means.

*kesat air mata*

Give her a little more time.
Give her another second chance.
Give her what she needs.
Then, she'll be the one she used to be.
Then, she'll be the one like how she was before.
Then, everything's gonna be fine.

*fingers-crossed*

One of the best chapters in our life. That is what you call as LOVE.

We willing to sacrifice, do anything to defend our love life. You keep on figuring things how to work it out. You keep on thinking how to boost up back the relationship after a long while.   You hate to fight whenever you get involve in a long distance relationship. You do whatever you can do just to protect it, protect the love, the person that you really cares about after families.

Somehow, you still getting treated like a pathetic, moron, loser or whatever the word you wanna think of. You feel useless whenever what you do are actually the wrongdoings from their eyes. But you never give up, you keep on walking and looking and searching for the best solution to build back whatever that has collapsed between you both. They say people changed but still that sentence don't even bother you. They say enough is enough still human nature never gives up. Until at some point you realize that it's no use anymore. You don't realize that in between you searching for the best formula to solve the equation, there's someone out there willing to make you happy. Willing to take your hands for poor and rich, sick and healthy and whatever it is. But the feelings is hard to change. Ignoring is the best policy they say. So, you follow it. You ignore that supporting character of your life. They could be friends, lecturers, team members, colleague or anyone outside there.

But, bear in mind ladies and gentlemen, till when you wanna try? Till when you won't give up?Till you die? How long do you need for you to finish up reading the lines full of lies? Heartache and pain, when are you going away? The journey of love will never ends even if we die, the people that still breathing will keep on continuing with their journey to find what love is.

Love is what you call as one of the best chapters in your life. Just like other chapters, it does have ups and downs. Love is blind but the blindness of the love makes you go insane. Love makes you realize that you deserve to be happy. Love also teaches you many things in life. =)


*peace*